An Underground Problem

 Does anyone ever blog anymore? Does anyone even read blogs anymore? I started this blog about 15 years ago to have a way for people to see photos of my grandchildren. Then I tried different things, a photo a day, daily life, books I've read, vacations and things that happen around here. I like to document things we are doing, but it lagged when I wrote more emails, because it was like writing two letters. Then I went overboard with knitting because it was easier to knit than do the too many things that needed doing and I lost my energy and desire for a lot of things.  I am writing a contentment journal with the theme of gratitude this month and it is helping me feel better about myself.  

A lot of things have happened since that last July post. My father died August 1st after a month of hospitalization with pneumonia. I haven't written anything about my brother's death a little over a year ago. It been quite a year. I'm not ready for that yet. So, I will write about what has been happening at our house right now.

Thanksgiving is over now, and these photos show what was going on before.  Water in the basement led to a sewer blockage, which led to a septic tank replacement (not big enough for a 5-bedroom house), which is leading to replacement of sewer lines under the house and redoing the bathroom, which doesn't necessarily need doing, but if we're going to tear up the concrete floor we may as well.

Jim, being a contractor of underground utilities, of course has the means to bore in the sewer line under the house, which is already done, waiting for the rending and tearing of the basement floor to tie over from the old to the new. We are still using the old system until that happens. 

Digging out the old line for a temporary fix.

Digging the hole for the septic tank

The tank comes in two pieces. It's concrete.

Big equipment is always fascinating for the younger generation, 

or else it ought to be. 

Ready to go.

A tape sealant holds the pieces together.

The second piece coming in, guided by a rake and shovel.

We had to install a three-fold leach field.

It makes a huge mess in the backyard. 

We hoped to replace the basement ceiling and floors this winter, but that looks like job for another year. 

Quotations --The Last Page

1. I kept this one because when I was younger I used to get the feeling "why am I here, why is anybody here." Sometimes I would feel like I was looking down on life and not participating. It is a very hard feeling to describe and this quote is close to what I felt.

When I made this book about 20 years ago, times were different. The general values were 

closer to my own. Things have changed and in my opinion, not for the better.

People aren't as kind and considerate as they used to be. 

There is no thinking about "for the general good."

I don't feel like I've done myself justice in this project. 

The feelings I had then have been colored by the present. 

Perhaps I shouldn't have attempted it at all. 

I wanted to, so I did.

 

Quotations -- Next To The Last Page

1. You can't expect people to be the same after years of experiences that are different from yours. 

2. "...of the race that knows Joseph." -- Anne's House of Dreams

1. "You could be nice to everybody."

1. I learned I could do this when I was fairly young. The first time I remember was with the hexagon tiles on some floor (dentist office, library?). I could make it look 3-D.  Another time I remember was with our old hot water radiators.  When those pictures came out that look like a random pattern of colors and you had to look at them 'just so', to get the picture to 'pop out', all I had to do was 'see double' with my eyes and there it was.

After I had cancer treatments, I was more tired at the end of the day and it got to the point where I couldn't control that seeing double in the evening. My eyes wouldn't focus together. 

I remember my first eye appointment to get my glasses at age 8. I remember telling my parents and the eye doctor that I had double vision, but no one paid attention to me and I never said anything about it for years. I have prisms put in my lenses now, to make my eyes stay focused.

 

Quotations -- Page 10

1. I am of the same mind when it comes to writing in a journal. I have never been able to write in one every day. 

2. I don't remember this quote. I guess, if you are colliding with other people, you might be on the wrong track.

3. I'm content as long as I am doing those things to keep my life running smoothly. 

These days, social media is blamed for discontent because people are comparing themselves to others.

Comparison breeds discontent.

1. Most of the time this is my philosophy.

2. Only if you let them.

3. I think this only works for those who are truly morning persons. I am, and there is nothing I like better to get going early on a beautiful morning to get to work. The work does get done faster.

1 and 2. We could do with more of this in our world.

 

Quotations -- Page 9

1. It's a lot easier to be non-judgmental on the outside than on the inside. 

2. I don't like change one bit. 

I have to be dragged kicking and screaming into every new technological advance and very likely some other things that I'm not going to take the time to figure out. Two are, I cook the way my mother did and I hang clothes on a clothes line, (not everything.)

3. This is what they are telling us nowadays. Slow down and enjoy nature. 

1. It's true. Those niggling things that we think are problems and aren't really can get under our skin. A mature person learns to ignore them. "Don't sweat the small stuff."

2. Misunderstanding comes from not slowing down and listening to people's words and intent.

3. This might only apply to introverts. Of which I am one.

4. This is one of my favorite sayings. At one time I was a doormat, therefore I don't hold it against those who wiped their feet on me. 

1. The sooner we understand this and make it a part of our lives. 

Our lives and those of others will be better. 

2. Books are such an important part of my life, that I have collected 100s over the years. I have culled it now to the point, to only those I really love. 

Except those on Lynette's old bookcase, and those the boys have snuck in.

And...I really love a lot of books.

 

Quotations -- Page 8

1. Of course, spanking is out of fashion these days. I don't believe spanking for every little infraction is useful, it loses it's significance. My opinion has been to spank only in matters of life and death, or defiance and then you need to make it count. As children grow older, there are other ways to discipline that are more effective.  Consistency and paying attention go a long way.'

2. You don't have to be very old for you children to start telling you what to do. It starts about the time you can't tell them what to do.

1. I love to read. I love to read old books. They have the words that no one uses anymore. You know, those long three and four syllable words that can take the place of a whole sentence. I don't always have a new word to use every year since I started about 20 years ago, but the ones I remember are exacerbate, obstreperous, recalcitrant, tenacious, gargantuan, and unfortunately I can't remember the one I used yesterday. 

  

2. I believe this, too. Too many imposed rules, especially in raising children only results in said children wanting to 'jump over the traces.'

3.  I have read a cute little children's book, something like this: Someone in the family starts out the day badly, perhaps the father. Then it's the mother yelling at the big sister and the big sister at the little brother and the little brother to the dog and so on, and nobody has a good day until the sun comes out and someone smiles and the days ends on a good note.

1. Yes

2. It's called "gentle parenting", in this day and age. I do believe in paying attention to what could be making children behave a certain way. Decisive action is sometimes necessary so that the parents are the ones in charge, not the child. 

3. I don't read mysteries, horror stories, adult fiction, and several other things I can't put a name to. 

I like to read children's books and any others that are tidily and happily wrapped up at the end. 

I do enjoy reading non-fiction, history, medical, scientific, and things like that. 

 

Quotations -- Page 7

1. Marriage isn't a thing to jump into without planning. It's a lifetime commitment, (or should be).

It's finding out what your likes and dislikes are and what each feels about money and children.

How do the in-laws treat the other, do your values and religion match?

2.  If you go into a marriage thinking of what you're going to get out of it, as opposed to what you are going to put in it. You're setting yourself up for failure. 

1. This is more of the same. A marriage doesn't just happen. Those first honeymoon days soon turn into everydays, but are none the less precious when you are working together to make a happy home. 

Doing the little things that make another happy, remembering why you married in the first place, not letting something or somebody else get in the way, these will help a marriage last. 

1. One of the things I've learned in my 37 years of marriage is that starting silly quarrels over presumed slights, doesn't get you anywhere except everyone feels bad. Most of the time, those sorts of things aren't intentional. They are triggered by some past experience and the best thing you can do is swallow your pride and not matter who started it, apologize.

2. In my case it was 2-cylinder John Deere tractors, (pun intended.)

1. That's right up there with sharing the same value system.

2. I goofed up on this one, I wonder what book I found it in. It doesn't ring a bell. 

It seems like there is always one in a family (not always the same one) that doesn't want to do what everyone else wants to do. Sometimes you have to just fit in.

3. Never teaching a child to control oneself and behave sets that child up for failure in life. 

 

Quotations -- Page 6

1. Learning how to work things out on your own will strengthen your relationship. Telling all and sundry your problems will not.

2. Any one that thinks they can change their husband, or wife after they are married, is delusional.

If there are changes to be made, look to yourself first. 

3. Those who are kind and considerate can make a success of any marriage. It takes work, and those who are willing to work at it. 

1. When I gathered these quotes, they were already getting to be outdated ideas. I think society would do well to go back to them. 

1 and 2. I write on wedding cards what I heard years ago: A successful marriage takes giving 100% from both parties.

3. I was thinking about this the other day. It's very true. It isn't just about learning what the other likes and dislikes, It's finding out after 10 years that your husband never wants to eat Grape Nut's Flakes or Raisin Bran ever again. In the next 10 years it's showers instead of baths. Another 10 years and something he's never liked eating, is his favorite. 

 

Quotations -- Page 5

1. I wish there was more of this sentiment when it comes to marriage. The thinking of what sort of life you want before you make the leap.

2. See above.

1. and 2.This collection started as an idea to collect quotes into a little book about marriage. I would never have been brave enough to give it to anyone, but these quotes express what I feel about it.  

Quotations -- Page 4

 

1. I hardly know what to write about this. This is from a book written in the 1950s, it was collected in the early 2000s. Nowadays, this sentiment would be considered archaic since sexual activity is so normal from teenager years on with just about anybody and the idea of monogamous faithfulness forever and no sex before marriage no longer inspires any respect. 

I still believe it's true.

1. I had an "open door" policy for my kids. Their door stays open when they have company. 

I always had food available to anyone that was here. If their friends were here at meal time, they ate with us. A welcoming home keeps people home.

2. Back in the day, I saw plenty of people get married early and then find out they made a mistake because the person they married isn't who they thought they were, or they grew up into a different person with new goals. I've seen people marry without really knowing the person. Finding out who you are and what you want out of life helps you make decisions that make a better life

1. I wanted a simple wedding, and I had one. It was at home with no decorations. My bridesmaid's dress could be worn again in places other a formal party. The reception was very simply decorated and I made my dress. My mom and her friends prepared the lunch. I had friends take snapshots 

and make the cake for their gifts.

The total spent was about $300 in 1987 money which wouldn't even be $1000 today. 

2. I love this, because if only people, girls especially, could separate themselves from what everybody thinks they should look like how much better life would be.

1. I have no idea anymore what "going steady" looks like in 2024. In my school days in the 70s-80s it was exchanging class rings and "going together". Somewhere after 2000 I think the term was "talking". The names get sillier as the years go by, but my underlying thought about choosing exclusively a boy/girl friend or even dating at all, is that you should never date someone who doesn't have the values you would like to marry some day.

Quotations -- Page 3

1. What more do you need than the basics? 

Want what you have and you'll have what you want.

1. Everybody IS all right and it's time we realized that. 

2. When I collected these quotes, social media was not a thing and now we are inundated with admonitions to "take care of yourself", "reduce your stress by being aware of your surroundings."

It has always been important to waste a little time on something beautiful.

3. This is the ultimate way to live, "holding fast to truth and courtesy and kindness". This was my goal, but I don't think I've made much progress over the years.

1. This is very true, there were a few names I never liked in elementary school because they belonged to mean girls. Julie was one and Carol another. Those names are changed to me, because Juli is a friend and Carole is the middle name of several in our family.

2. Having a good character and keeping it so makes a better life for yourself and others around you. 

1. Self-discipline seems to be out of fashion these days. Is anything held sacred anymore?

2. I don't know if this idea was given to me by my parents or if I learned it by experience and watching. Of course, these days, there aren't so very many "stay-at-home" moms.

3. Yes!

 

Quotations -- Page 2

1. Another Anne quote. The longer you know people, the better you know them. 

2. I had one of these summers. It was 1983. A larger crowd that usual of friends, we met often, to talk and eat and play games. It was a hard summer for me because I was taking summer classes. Studying and playing meant some late nights. 

3. I was taught responsibility at a young age. With four kids and one income, my folks were frugal with money. I didn't realize how tight some times were until I was well into my teens. I had a job delivering papers and with that money I bought things that Mom wouldn't buy for me, like special shampoo and store-bought clothes. (She would buy all the material we wanted to sew clothes, and we made most of them.) I worked my way through college and paid for my own wedding with very little help from them. I felt it was my responsibility to do what I could to make it easier on them.

1. See above: # 3.

2. There is a saying about doing hard things right away and getting them over with.

"If you have to swallow a frog, do it first thing in the morning."

And then later, 

"If you have to swallow two frogs swallow the biggest one first."

 

3. This is a lesson I taught my kids. Some are friends for now and some for later, 

some for a little while and some for all time. 

1. Some of these are self-explanatory. Without self-discipline we won't enjoy our life 

and others won't enjoy ours either. 

2. Positivity and kindness go a long way.

3. I grew up in the days when more women stayed at home with their children 

than worked outside the home.

My parents believed the essence of this saying.