I Can Hear Again!!

Yesterday we spent the day in Omaha.  There might be more exciting things to do there than have two doctor appointments, but that's the way it was.  

I am now on yearly oncologist's visits and I passed that one with flying colors.

We planned on visiting Valentino's for lunch, when we got to the one we usually visit, it has changed into a party room place, but if we went next door to the carryout/lunch counter we could get a coupon to use for the buffet at another place.  So we did.  After stuffing ourselves we went shopping.  I prowled around Good Will, looking for a pair of brown boots and a brown sweater and finding none, I found myself eyeing a nice little backpack purse in far better shape than mine.  While I was debating someone else was making up their mind, and it was gone, so I came home with nothing.  Jim however was spending company money for an air hose reel, which he needed, and then after a little comedy in the parking lot, where I couldn't find our car without Jim hollering at me, even though it was right in front of me, we were off to the ENT clinic to get my BAHA.

I saw the doctor for just a bit while he inspected the post site for healing around the post and tugged on it to test how well it was grown in, then it was off to the audiologist for a long lesson on the BAHA, and it's accompanying equipment.  It was programmed after a little hearing test which proved I can't hear much of anything as the device is set to it's highest volume. Then we found out how to take care of it, use the batteries, which batteries to buy, how to store it, how to clean it, how to take it on and off, and not to get it wet.  It seems like we talked about lots of other things, that I can't really remember, but we asked lots of questions and felt like we understood everything we needed to.  

Whether we will remember it all is a different story.  

Now, my brain has to get used to a louder world.  Everything is louder; I can hear things I haven't heard for 5 years.  I can hear the toilet paper unrolling, and the fridge running.   Flushing, Jim's slippers on the floor and the dryer are too loud.  Crinkling plastic bottles, clinking silverware and setting plates on the table are just plumb annoying.  This the the time for my brain to relearn what it wants to hear and what it doesn't.  It takes awhile, anywhere from 10-12 weeks.  

It's not so bad, it's nice not to have to be right next to Jim to hear him.  

I think I'll get used to this new, louder world sooner than I expected. 

Healing Begins

More than a week has passed.  The plastic cover over my new BAHA post with snap fastener is exposed to the air. My doctor doesn't expect to see me again for three months when the hearing tests and device fitting will occur.  I won't see him unless the site gets infected, but they don't act like that is a big concern, although we were given explicit instructions on what to look for and how to react and when to call and get our bods to Omaha.  

This was our day on Tuesday.  

This morning our alarm rang at 4:45 and we left the house through intermittent fog for Omaha.  We would have liked to linger for a few outdoor minutes at our favorite Milford rest are, but as I didn't have enough jacket for the 50 degree temps, we decided to forego that and continued on our way. We got to to office at 8:30, and were ushered into the examining room at 9:10, and after a quick pull-off of the plastic cover and unwinding of the corn wrapped around the post and approval rating of 0 (which is good), we were on our way out fo the parking lot at 10:45 to get home at 1.  A long trip for a short exam.  I was VERY pleased that the area looks so good.  I know someone else, who had horrible problems with infection.  I hope I am spared that.  We have to watch and clean the spot of course.  I would really like to get by with no infection.  I've had so many other problems. 

I wanted Jim to help me with the first hair washing that hadn't been done per doctor's orders since the surgery.  I was a little bit nervous about the newly placed rod that isn't firmly grown in.  I have to, after washing, dry that spot with a hair dryer.  No more drip drying hair, ever.  That spot HAS to stay dry.  I wonder about swimming?  So, I went out and bought a hair dryer.  I haven't owned one for decades, although their presence has not been unknown in this house because I have two girls. 

So, the waiting begins. 

BAHA At Last

Several years ago, I wrote an exciting blog post about this BAHA thing.

(Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) on April 12, 2016 and then I wrote nothing because the insurance company denied me, twice, even after a couple of appeals showing that my hearing loss wasn't just happen-chance, but a series of unfortunate events starting with radiation and ending in destroyed

 ear drums. 

Well, a couple of years and a couple of insurance companies later, plus some enlightenment on the part of said insurance companies, the bone anchored hearing aid is becoming a part of accepted treatment for hearing loss, and we decided to try again.  

We were waiting for resolve and time.  I wasn't any too sure I wanted to start again and face more appeals and more surgery.  After Lorene graduated and didn't need me so constantly to watch the boys, it was feasible to think about it again and in July we started the process all over again with more hearing tests and waiting to hear from the insurance company.  

From there, things went quickly.  In a month, surgery was scheduled, pre-op physical done, and we were on the road to surgery.  

It's done, and I am home again, recovering.  I have very little pain in my head where the post has been put in, but my throat is very sore, since they had problems putting the breathing tube in.  That part of my anatomy has been compromised because of the radiation, and gives me plenty of problems. In three months, we will talk about fitting the hearing device. 

The white disc covers the incision site and the post, but you can see the area. 

This surgical center sends home a red rose. 

Boy Weekend

I've been busy.  Busy enough that I haven't felt like blogging.  So busy that I'm not going to remember everything that happened in the last two weeks.  There are photos here that will help to tell the story.  

Paislee can stand by herself,  They were here last week, and she crawled all over and pulled herself up on things, but she didn't show this to us that night. 

We're reusing the high chair that started with Zane.  

She's one smart cookie.  Although, I think they all are at that age.  They know a whole lot more than you think. I have my first baby doll sitting in our living room and when Paislee saw it she took after it and like all 9 month olds, proceeded to pull it around and poke it's eyes.  Nathan thought she should leave it alone, so he laid down in front of it to hide it from view.  

Like THAT'S going to work.  If you look closely at the bottom photo, in the corner by the basket and bookcase, is the doll before Paislee noticed.  As Nathan was lying there, she crawled between the piano and bench and around his feet to get to the doll!

It was Christian's turn to stay with us overnight.  This over-nighter was a carbon copy of Barry's  the week before, except for the fact that we dealing with a 3 almost 4 year old and one that is Gramma's boy more than Papa's.

He loves his stuffed animals.  These are his favorite right now, and at bedtime, they were nowhere to be found.  He had them inside and out, upstairs and down.  Jim even went out in the dark to look around, after we scoured the inside of the house.  Luckily, gramma has special animals, and he went to bed and back home again without these.  I asked Lynette the next day, if she had any idea where he could have put them and she did!  While she was here, he mentioned putting them behind the curtains, and when I went to look, there they were.  

The case was closed.  

3 year old photographer.

It was windy this time when we went to feed the fish, and the fish weren't at home. 

Christian wasn't too sure about the giant buffalo at the Archway. Barry wouldn't let me take a picture. 

The good news.

Four and a half years since treatment and a clear report on Thursday. 

October 6, 2016

Four years ago today, I had my last chemo treatment.  

All these four years my hair has been growing except for the little patch behind my left ear that has been cut twice for surgery back there.  That piece is only about 2" long and annoyingly long enough to stick out from behind my ear and not tuck up nicely into my French roll. 

4 years

3 years

2 years

1 year

That one year photo was part of my monthly hair blogs and before I had the idea of showing the length.  You can get the idea.  It wasn't much below my collar.

Three and a Half Years

...and counting.

I went to Omaha today.  Not that it's such earth-shattering news since we go there about once a month.  This trip was to see my oncologist and (thankfully) get another examination and "come back in 6 months" report, because everything looks just fine.  I like this doctor.  He asks about a lot of other things that might be going on in my life and how I'm handling them, not just if I have any possible cancer recurrence symptoms.

This visit was different than all the other ones because the scope they use to look in my sinuses is now connected to a screen so the doctor is doing his work looking at the screen instead of through the scope.  I got a change to see what the inside of my sinuses looks like.  It looks like a great big hole.  I was interested in seeing what the condition of the skin looked like in there.  Since the radiation there it is rather unstable, slow healing skin.  

My doctor always has his PA or a resident examine me first.  I like this because they are always interested and bring up things I haven't thought about.  This one remarked that my mouth didn't open very wide.  I knew that of course, and it was brought home to me in a real way this month after my second mastoidectomy when the dental hygienist couldn't get the x-ray thingys in my mouth.  I could not open my mouth wide enough. The muscles have loosened up a little since then and it is better now.  When I went back again for the x-rays they got those things in with a lot of work.  My mouth didn't open wide enough to bite a banana before that last surgery, and after surgery it was worse.  I think it is going back to it's previous size, which still isn't very wide.  

Radiation damages muscles and creates scar tissue which makes those muscles tighter which is why my mouth doesn't open like it used to.  

There are so many things that change after having chemo and radiation.  They are really drastic treatments that can take away a lot of what you had before.  

The main thing it took from me is the cancer, and I can deal with the rest of it.  

I have a different body to deal with and some things are annoying and difficult, but I would still choose this over the alternative.  

Life is still full of many joys, not the least of which are three little boys.  

They love to feed the chickens.

Zane and tee-ball. 

It's Worth It

If you think eggplant is good.

You should try any other food.

It’s much better.
(The only thing good about an eggplant is looking at it.)

Sometimes, a week goes by in a hurry.  Sometimes a week goes by without taking any photos.  That wasn't this week, but I didn't take very many photos.  

Health Update:

We went to Omaha again on Monday for a two-weeks-from surgery post-op check up.  I'm sorry that my doctor is only in on Monday afternoons because 3:00 appointments make for long days.  He removed the stitches, and I was rather surprised how painful that was.  Just imagine pulling out rather thick hairs...slowly.  

So, we are still on ear drops and antibiotics, and "come back again in two weeks."

I was looking at my calendar to see what I did last week.  There was nothing there.  I think one of my resolutions should be to put a few notes there everyday.
We aren't talking resolutions around here until March.

 Thursday night we went to Lorene's for supper.  It is always nice to see them.  We like to spend time with the boys, but it's hard to spread ourselves out with all the things that need shown and told.  Zane and Barry are getting old enough to play games so we ended the night with the kid's version of 'Apples to Apples'.  The weekend sped up from there.  Lorene and the kids stopped in again on Friday.  I had an extremely annoying and very long phone call with our phone/internet company.  All I wanted was to find out two forgotten email passwords.  What ensued was a very long conversation to change all four email passwords with a man I could hardly understand and who could hardly understand me.  I don't hear well, even on the phone and an accent doesn't help.  Then, my voice isn't very loud and often raspy, so it wasn't all that great on his end, either.  After a call that needed every ounce of patience on both sides, we were so relieved when it was all over we could end with an audible smile.
I was earlier on the phone with the business end of the same service but I don't remember what that was about and I'm not going to spend my energy to try to remember it.  I mean, phone calls take so long nowadays. Click one if you want English, click two if you want to listen to the animated servies, click three if you want to talk to someone who's first language is Albanian, click four if you want to change to a more expensive service, click five if you want to hear the list all over again.  Click nine to end this call.  WHERE are the people!!  I don't call unless I want to talk to someone. I do like chatting.  The typing is better than trying to talk and listen.  However, passwords cannot be done through chat.
During this phone call, the boys were shut out of the room, but part way through the call, Zane and Barry sneaked in, closed the door behind them, pulled the Lego box quietly out, and began to play.  The amazing thing about this is that they played: without clattering the Legos and whispering as they played.
Seriously, believe me!! a 7 and 4 year old boy playing so quietly they did not disturb my phone call.
I gave them lots of cookies when I was done.
Then Saturday, we went to a work project where Jim spent the day framing and I spent the day chatting with cousins and helping cook supper for 20 people.  I tired myself out more than I thought I would.  I'm not used to standing so much.
Sunday I was tired and had a nap.
Monday I was tired after a 6-hour drive in the pickup and pulling a trailer behind.
Today I am taking it easy.

On our way to the doctor we picked up a couple reels of pipe on the way. We've done this before.  Jim gets the reels loaded up on the trailer and we leave the trailer at the 'store' until we are on our way home again.  We had a little time to spare so Jim left me at the Good Will, while he filled the pickup with diesel.
I found these.

And a Zane Grey, but it won't photograph well.

I also found these on facebook since I forgot to take my camera on Thursday.

And....drum roll please....

The only photo I took this week. 

(We are not paying attention to the one with the books)

I love this crazy little plant.  It is some sort of cactus-y thing because it has spikes all over the stems.  It doesn't take much water, two ice cubes per week.  My son gave it to me on Mother's Day last year. And it blooms every so often.  These tiny blooms, a touch smaller than 1/4" across cheer me up immeasurably.  It is always amazing if I can keep a plant alive for any length of time and even more so if it blooms when it is supposed to.  It looks like there are several other blooms waiting to happen,  I've never had more than three at a time before.  

It's Tuesday Again

Another week has gone by.  

Another week of recovery, medicines and naps.  

I feel pretty good, really.

This is similar to the last ear surgeries when my ear drums were repaired.  It was a much simpler thing, though, with a faster recovery time.  

I didn't do much.  It's the beginning of the month so there are things that have to be done with our business, bills to pay, invoices to send, papers to file.  

Employee withholding to be sent.  

And there is the problem.  

Jim and I spent a couple of hours this morning on business stuff. I was ready to do the payroll and looking for my checkbook which wasn't where it was supposed to be, I realized that the information I use to deposit said withholding was gone as well.  I have no idea where those two items are.  I went back to look in my notes to see when I made the last payment, and discovered that it was

 done two days after surgery.  

That's bad news.

 It means that it is very likely I put them away...somewhere. And it is also very likely that I will never remember where I put them.   Drug induced fog is very real around here.  I was taking pain killers around the clock at the time.  

As soon as the tax information is into the accountant sorting files is next on my to-do list.  Perhaps it will show up then. 

Not much happened this week except a lot of sitting, knitting and the very most important house and office work.  

And snow melting.  

Here are the photos of the aftermath of the storm. 

My daughter gave me a very pretty bouquet to cheer my couch.  

Here is my lovely view from my corner of the living room.  I spend most of my life here. 

'Ears to You!

We aren't going to discuss resolutions this week.  

Anything to do with keeping up with my normal life came to a screeching halt as those who read last week's blog may have an inkling. 

Because, that ear didn't get better, it got worse.  

The antibiotics made me sick.   I got new ones, the swelling got worse, I made another appointment.  

I laid around most of the week, tired from both the sickness and the oxycodone.

So, now I am sitting on a king-sized bed in a motel in Omaha waiting to have surgery this afternoon.  

That 'ear infection' turned into an enormous abscess in the mastoid area that has to be cleaned out surgically.  This sort of thing doesn't happen anymore due to the effectiveness of modern antibiotics.  However, my left ear has not heard of the advances in medicine and spends most of it's time thinking of new (and old) ways of turning my life upside down.
At one time, the doctor, the resident, the PA and three nurses were in the examining room, looking at my swelling. 

I don't have any photos of the swelling.  Suffice to say it was a good three times as large as shown in last week's photos.  

It was extremely uncomfortable, but not as painful as I expected.  In the doctors's office yesterday, he drained 10 ccs of liquid out of it (sorry about that for you squeamish folks), and that made a big difference, but it wasn't any fun. Neither was the putting in of the drain, which he knocked out the first time and I had to endure the putting in of a second one.  

All that HURT!

I sort of wish I had a photo of me wearing my glasses perched above my ears, so they wouldn't come anywhere near the swelling above the left ear, but I don't.

I have a few photos of the aftermath of our 16" of very windy snowfall from last Tuesdays storm, but they are safely at home in my camera.  

I'm starving to death.  Surgery time isn't until 1 pm.  

It's a Blizzard Out There!

I really fell down on the job with taking photos this week.  I did my usual living in this house things.

I wrote three letters, I played my piano, I worked my small amount of office things needing done the last week of the month...and I only walked three days out of the week.  

There is a reason for that.  

I worked so hard for an hour and a half on Friday cleaning the office in the shop building, that I figured it would account for an 'exercise' day. You know, up and down, on top and underneath, vacuuming and scrubbing.  Saturday I spent so much time making jello, and chicken pot-pie with homemade pie crust and chicken just cooked that morning and de-boned, that I forgot.

And from there....it's a medical issue. 

I woke up about 3 am Sunday morning with drainage from my left ear.  (That's the one that is defective.)  It rapidly turned into not just continuous drainage but incredible swelling and pain around the ear area.  So, I spent Sunday fighting the pain and thinking about all the 'what ifs'.  

We already had an appointment in Omaha scheduled for that BAHA hearing assessment, but it turned into a medical appointment instead.  We left for Omaha early since there was a blizzard heading our way.  We were hoping that we could get an earlier appointment, but that didn't work out.  Thankfully, the snow held off until about 30 miles from home and we were home before dark.  

I'm loaded up now with a high powered oral antibiotic.  The doctor put a wick in my ear to hold ear drops in, and I'm on pain killer.  The swelling hasn't gone down yet, but at least I feel better. 

And, there really is a blizzard going on out there!

Remembering

I took a trip down memory lane today. 

Actually, I've been taking a trip down memory lane for the last little while.

About 2 weeks ago we received the sad news that a dear friend has a sinus tumor.  

Here in the same state, a friend of mine, someone my age, our children have grown up together....

 a SINUS TUMOR!!??!!

No one has ever heard of sinus tumors, it isn't something that doctors even think about, and here are two people in the same state who know the fear and uncertainty of having a fast growing tumor in their head.

I feel anxious as I write this, I feel anxious every time I think about it, I feel anxious anytime I talk about it.  

It's like going back three and a half years and remembering.

Remembering the fear, the anxiety, the surgery, the treatment, the hospital stays, the pain, the recovery.  

I don't know what the road my friend will travel will be like.

It won't be the same as mine, but some of the signposts will be all too familiar.   

This time though, I'll be on the other side, and yet by her side.  I'll be watching and yet with her in spirit, because I know what it is like to be where she is.  

I went in unsure and came out fighting.  

And because I was fighting, I know she can, too.  

Winter is Coming

In this beautiful state where I live it doesn't rain very often.  It certainly very seldom rains all day long. At least it hasn't in the last decade, we've been in a drought more often than not.

So, it was very pleasant to sit in the house with a fire and watch the gentle rain come down.

It was not very pleasant to dash into the library for knitting group, but I was prepared with a hooded coat.  

We hadn't taken our rain gauge in for the season yet so we could tell how much rain we got.  

2 1/2 "!! 

That's a lot for around here.

  

The best was yet to come. The tail end of that storm dropped enough snow to whiten the landscape.  The clouds rolled away to the east at sunrise.  

Of course, no week is complete without a visit from the grandkids.  These two little blondies can always find something to do together. This day it was Othello.  Barry wanted to put the black sides up and have Christian use the white sides so they could tell who wins.  Christian likes to do whatever Barry does so we had a one color board.  I love the way they can play together without fussing most of the time. Once in a while strife breaks out and often they can resolve their differences without intervention. 

On another note, my left ear (not the most recent surgified ear) was draining again.  The canal was filling up with goopy stuff just like it had a few weeks ago and it turned out to be a fungal infection.  

So, we whipped up to Omaha yesterday to get the infection suctioned out and to get some more powder that gets puffed into the ear to heal it and keep it dry.  

I don't have any ear photos, but I do have a photo of my puffer with the yellow powder. 

You Just Never Know

I don't read horoscopes.  

I don't even think about them from one year to the next.

However, when we were in Omaha for my post-op ear check, I was killing time by reading the funnies.

My eyes strayed over to the horoscopes and this was mine for the day.  

HA!

It's Tuesday Again...

...which means I have two weeks post surgery behind me and one week ahead of me before I go to the doctor again.

With post-surgery packing unpacked my hearing should be augmented with some help from my right ear.  

Until then, I'm using--

THIS

--in large groups.

We had been thinking of a personal amplifier, perhaps not as seriously as we should have, partly because we kept thinking improvements were right around the corner and instead it is taking longer than we thought.  

Also, we are not the kind of people that just jump out there and do things.

Procrastinators I think they call them.  

hee hee

We were kindly given the loan of this and I tried it out Sunday.  

WOW!!

I could hear again.  I could adjust the volume to the volume of the speaker.

Of course, there are the difficulties that come with any amplifier.  It amplifies the toddler's complaint  as well as pages turning.  

It, however, is a vast improvement on a room full of mumbling friends.

I'm slightly tempted to wear it all the time, but it is a bit of a pain. I don't want to draw attention to myself and it does interfere a bit with my glasses.  The pressure behind my ear gets old after awhile.

I did have a few twinges of injured pride the first time I wore it, but

I swallowed it.

I don't know how things will be going from here, but they'll go somewhere.

There are options out there.