Normal Food

I discovered today that I can eat lots of different things.  In fact, I am beginning to suspect that I can eat most anything now as long as it isn't too dry. And even with those, learning the judicious use of water or milk while I chew and swallow will make all the difference.  

The nice thing about this is that I can eat other places without worrying about whether there will be food I can eat or not.
There is still one problem.  Certain spices, vinegar and some fruits just burn my mouth.  Pepper for sure is on the no go list, miracle whip (because of the vinegar), and chili powder are too.  I think garlic is another one.  Sometimes just a very small amount gives me no problem.   

I can usually eat most fruits; I eat until they bother me and then I quit.
I made hamburgers for dinner today.  I ate mine in a lettuce leaf, with tomato, it worked really well.  I would have used mayo, but we were out.  We had green bean casserole and beets.  No problems there. 

For supper we had ham sandwiches with mayo and fruit salad, and strawberry-rhubarb pie, eaten at some kind friends. I like pie, it is my favorite dessert at the moment.
I was proud of myself to having gone a whole day eating normal food.  I still like my soup.  It is the way I get most of my calories.  It takes me a long time to get down even small portions of "normal food".  Chewing with saliva helps mash up the food in your mouth more quickly. I chew and sip, and it just takes longer. Plus, I get tired of eating after awhile, since it gets boring after awhile eating food that doesn't have much taste.
In order to keep from losing any more weight I still need to eat lots of soup.

Sitting with the Grands

I had the boys a couple of days ago.  Mommy wanted to do a mammoth grocery shopping spree without trying to corral three kids and two carts, one with a baby in it.  So, she left the two big ones with me.  I haven't had a chance for a while to take pictures of Barry so I took the opportunity to crawl around on the floor with him. I'm still getting used to the camera of my dad's.  It is an older one, albeit, a very good one in it's day, but it is different from what I had before.

These boys played so nicely for about a half an hour and it was greatly appreciated.  Barry found the tractors and pushed them all over the kitchen. 

I'm disappointed this last photo is fuzzy, but I love his big smile.  I caught it on the fly, by accident.  I wanted him to smile; at their house its "say cheese", at my house its "no".

I made this playdough for the boys, and Zane just loves it.  I meant it to be dirt colored, but the combination of colors I used turned it green.  

He was playing farm animals for most of the time, preferring the giraffe and lion to the more traditional ones.  

Later, he began farming in earnest, but it was mainly getting the tractor stuck and pulling it out again.

The next day we had Christian all by himself.  He is such a good baby at nearly two months.  Sleeping easily and long and eating properly.  

It was easy to get a smile out of  him.  It wasn't so easy to quit talking and turn them off. 

Sleepy boy.

Oregon 2013:Tidal Pool

 My brother lives in Oregon.  I do not.  I live in the middle of this great country of ours and Oregon is a very long way away.  It takes three days to drive there, so we flew, thanks to my dad who is so glad I'm alive after last year that he paid out lots of money so my family (except Jim, who stayed home to make sure we had some money), could go there and see him and my other brother who lives even farther away in the middle of this country.  

I haven't flown since I went on my honeymoon.  I found flying boring then, and this time the hop from Denver to Eugene got rather long and I wished I had a window seat.  

I was hoping for good weather, cool weather, nothing like the 90 degrees days we were having at home, and I got my wish.  It was plumb cold most of the time.  

We spent one day in the Yaquina Bay area near Newport on the coast.  The most fascinating part of the whole trip was this visit to the tidal pools at the lighthouse.  We spent the morning at low tide, hopping around the pools to look at all the flora and fauna living there, exposed to all when the tide is low.  We saw things I only see in pictures, or at the zoo.

The saddest part of the whole trip was when I dropped my camera into a tidal pool while jumping over a particularly large spot.  That was the end of my taking photos there, except with my phone, which takes pictures as if you are looking through the wrong end of a telescope and emailing them to oneself takes eons if you have 150 of them like I do.  

So, while it might be fun to say I dropped my camera into the Pacific Ocean, it means that my photos of this vacation are mostly someone else's.  Or else hardly won from my phone.  

I hope these photos give you a glimpse of what I enjoyed. 

Agate State Recreation Area

Tidal Pools

Lighthouse.

We saw all these things except the barnacle.

Birds galore, but we were too far away to see them unless zoomed in.  There were far away on the rocks.

Same with the eagle.

However these seagulls were parading their stuff.  And they were a lot larger than I expected.  

Low tide.

Looking down from the top.  It was a  long way down.

Star fish, two kinds.

Mussels

 Starfish and Sea Cucumbers

 Green Anemone

Purple Anemones

 Feathers on well tumbled lava rocks, of which the beach is covered. 

Time to Write

I am going to write today.  

I don't have anything else to do. 

Well, I do, but it isn't time to do those things.  

It isn't time to make supper, I like to wait until she gets home from work so she can eat with her parents.  It isn't time to pile all the suitcases in the living room for the same reason.

  

We are going to Oregon.  My brother lives there, and we are going to fly out to see him. My parents are generously offering us this trip as a celebration of a cancer-free summer. Sadly, my hubby can't go, but my son and said daughter are.  We are trying to get everything into carry on bags with one check bag, for a 7-day trip. I am only bringing two pairs of shoes. Everything matches, I'm only bringing one sweater.  I'm wearing the clothes that take up the most room on the plane.  The check-in bag will have all the hair, body and face products that my teenagers are taking.  I thought about buying them after we get there, but I changed my mind after seeing the array of bottles and sprays.  Not only will they cost more that the $25 charged, I would have to leave them there.   

This is the first time I will be away from home for a week since my surgery.  I am stepping very far out of my comfort zone, and I'm a little worried.  I'm also pushing out of my mind what my peculiar routines and food preferences might do to my and everyone else's enjoyment.  

I'm pushing them out because, really, so what if this is the first time to deal with it away from home.  It won't be the only time, if I am going to go places and do things, I will have to get used to life as I live it, and what better time than the present.  I'm not going to starve to death if there isn't food for me to eat, I'm going to buy soup for the "just in case", times at home.  I'm going to take Ensure with me, so I have something to eat when I'm out.  

The only thing that is really essential to my well-being, is my water.  Fifteen minutes without it, and my mouth is so dry I start coughing, and then I throw up.  Not a pretty sight. 

I have a bag to carry my water bottle and an extra.  I have a letter from my doctor that says it is medically necessary for me to have it with me at all times, so I should be able to walk through security with it. I'm prepared in case something happens and that doesn't work. I have a 2 oz. spray bottle to keep my mouth moist.  

It really is time for cleaning the dishes out of the sink, and for setting the table, (since that can be done early,) or changing from one purse to another.  Or sweeping the floor. Or bringing my suitcase out. 

It could also be time for a nap, I could use one, we are leaving at 5 am tomorrow morning. and I bet I don't go to bed early tonight.  

That time will come far too early, so I think I'll take the time for the nap.

Sweaters to Pillows

I am thankful for a great many things.  

One of the things I am thankful for is that I had a classical sewing education.  I started sewing when I was a little girl by hemming the skirt of a dress my mother made for me.  By the time I was in junior high I could make a jumper completely by myself following a pattern.  I was in 4-H and my mom was a master seamstress so I had good training from the start. 

I know you don't need to have this kind of education to use a sewing machine and enjoy making many things.  

What I appreciate is that I can wind bobbins and thread my machine without thinking it a chore.  I can sew clothes from a pattern without having to study the instructions. I can put in zippers, and make button holes.   What I appreciate most is that because I know what I can and can't do, I know what is "right" and what isn't, is that I can cut corners with ease.  

Anyway, I wanted some decorative pillows for the couch and after seeing other people make some out of old sweaters, I took myself over to the Good Will and found two sweaters that go well with my new look in the living room.  What I found is this gorgeous sweater and another very nice one, and name brands to boot.  

I've been putting it off for a couple of weeks so when I brought out the sweater to begin operations this week, I could hardly bring myself to cut them up, they were so nice.  No pilling, no snags, they looked good as new and I could hardly bear to think of cutting them up.  

So, while I knew they would make good looking pillows, it took a phone call to a good friend to remind me that I wouldn't want raggy sweaters to make good pillows. 

So, I just took a deep breath the dived in.  

This sweater is plain on the back.

 First thing is to cut off the sleeves.

Draw a sewing line and pin.

The second sweater was more challenging since it buttoned up the front.

Same pattern on the back.

I was just going to use the back and make a smaller pillow, but I decided today to use the front anyway.

I pinned and sewed the top, where I cut off the top of the sweater.  

Inside out. Ready to sew.

I sewed the sides a little narrower, then hand sewed the bottom, not really sure why, except it seemed easier with the ribbing, leaving an opening.  I sewed the front opening by hand before I stuffed it. 

After stuffing both pillows with long time stored fiberfill, I sewed up the openings by hand.  Here is another case for which I was thankful for my training.  There is a way to sew these openings closed so that you can't see the stitches.  So I took the little extra time to do that.

And they look very nice, if I do say so myself.

Back side of the brown. 

Front side of the brown.

I'm a great one for saving and reusing, but what I am finding is that I have so many things saved, that at nearly 50 years old, I wonder if I will have enough time to use up all the things I've saved.  

For example, this stuffing.  I don't know how long I've had it.  The worst of it is, I had second thoughts about using it, "what if I used it up?, what if I needed it for something else?".  I have got to be one of the worst for saving things for "sometime."  But. I am beginning to get it: I can always buy new if I need it. I want to use up some of this stuff.  I want more space, not more clutter. It just isn't going fast enough.  

A Year Ago Today Post Two

I am not planning on doing "one year ago today posts" every week for the next year.  This will be the last one, except for maybe when I pass my radiation and chemo anniversaries and you have several months to wait for those.  Up above you will see my cheering section while I was having surgery for my tumor. It was so nice of these people to come and sit with Jim and Lynette through which must have been a truly harrowing time. Imagine, to lose sight of me at 11:30 am and not see me again until after midnight, (There were periodic updates.)  The surgery took about three hours longer than expected.  I was in surgery about 9 and a half hours.

I don't remember much about that time, being medicated and recovering leaves one too out of it to think. It is rather awe-inspiring to think of having such a massive surgery done.   

In a few weeks, a friend I knew for a little while over 10 years ago will be having brain surgery for a tumor deep inside her brain.  She has lots of support and I don't know if she remembers me anymore or not.  But, my heart goes out to her, knowing she will be having major brain surgery, and some of what that recovery 

will be.  

This post isn't flowing from my brain through my fingers as some do.  I guess it is still too painful of a memory to revisit.  It's the day that changed my life, shook me out of complacency, taught me to enjoy life more, made me more fearful, and also more trusting.  

May the thing I take out of this experience is more love. 

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I had more hair.
 It was also the day I walked into a clinic called the Estabrooke Cancer Center. It was the day I heard the words, tumor, biopsy and malignant used about me.  It was the day that I realized there really was something bad growing in my head and it was called cancer.

A lot has happened in the last year, and I don't remember a lot of it. I don't want to remember a lot of it.  I had major surgery, recovery from surgery time, chemotherapy, radiation, two weeks in the hospital with low blood counts, more pain medication than I want to remember, a feeding tube, cases of ensure, mucus taking over my sinuses, and pain, pain, pain, in my mouth and throat.

I don't really like to think about it. I don't like to go back and think about the physical things or the mental ones.  Once you have cancer there are always a few dark places left lurking around in the back of your mind, and it doesn't do to dwell on them.

I am thinking about life, what I want to do now, what I want to do next year.  I want to remember to be thankful...for the friends and family that helped and put up with me, and those who sent cards and gifts.  I don't want to forget how much that meant to me, and I want to get strength and brains enough back to do it for someone else.

Recovery is still ongoing, but it isn't bad living in here.  I have a few annoyances that I may have to live with forever, but I'm doing fine.

And I'm happy.

The Third Boy

 We have a new grandbaby belonging to us.  My daughter and husband have produced a beautiful baby boy.  Again.  

Christian Bennett born 9:08 pm, May 16, 2013, 7# 15 oz., 21 1/4" long, lots of dark hair.  

My Barry Boy

It has been a very long time since I've had grandboy photos on my blog.  I want to go back and add the few I have over the last year sometime.  It would have been nice to do this before grandboy number three comes along. But it's not happening.  

This boy is just the cutest little guy.  He is still a short little toddler that can finally climb up on the couch, the piano bench and most chairs. Zane at this age was taller and could push chairs around and get too many places.  But that is neither here nor there.  Barry is his own little self.  He is starting to say a lot of new words, but imitating those which he hears us say.  His new one on his last visit was "flash light", which sounds more like "sash-eye", but imperfect baby speech is about the cutest thing there is.  

He can say the usual  things, bye-bye, hi, baba (bottle), mama. dada, papa, but also, sue (shoe), 'side (meaning outside), water, and a whole bunch more that I knew I should have been writing down, but I was trying to keep a four year old from watering everything and an 18 month old from going downstairs, and answering a question every other minute. 

The toys are in the office/guest bedroom and this first thing this little monkey does this time, is sit down with the keyboard.  

(When I wasn't looking.)

Zane can be an over zealous helper with Barry, asserting his big brother role, which results in some very funny scenarios.  He's a big help when it comes to feeding Barry ice cream, which is messily done by Barry himself.  But, when it comes to nap and bottle time, and Zane is trying to hold it while Barry patiently sits up straight and tries to suck at it, is rather hilarious.  

The best times are playing together times, which they really aren't here, they are just playing in the same spot with Lynette to run interference if needed.    

Curls!

The boys have been here several times lately while mom has doctor appointments relevant to the new baby.  I am taking the opportunity to catch up on some much delayed picture taking.  

I've been trying to teach Barry to go safely down stairs, either on his tummy or his behind.  I showed him how myself, (on my backside, not my tummy), saying "bump, bump" on every step.  He did eventually get the going down mastered, but until he did, he went down these shallow steps on foot, saying "bump, bump" all the way down. 

My over zealous waterer.