Friday, July 13, 2012

The Waiting is Over...

for the first step anyway
Chemo and radiation start Monday.  

These are really gorgeous flowers by the way and sent to us from some very nice friends who do so much for us already.  I am really enjoying them.


Anyway, I am off to a good start this morning  The first thing I did (after going back to bed after seeing Lynette off at 5), was put a load of wash in.  It wasn't until it was half done and I was doing the 'get ready for the day' part of my morning, when I remembered I hadn't put any soap in.  I've got chemo brain and I haven't even started yet!

I'm feeling better today.  Jim is coming home this evening after being gone since Tues. My scans are done for awhile, and someone is coming to visit later and that always cheers me up.

I had that PET scan yesterday and that was another different thing.  It was a radioactive scan, too, done at the Kearney Imaging Center.  The same man injected me as for the bone scan but he was better today, just did his job and answered my questions.  Sort of makes me wonder if he realizes what I have is serious and he'd better not joke around, That is part of what made me a little bit off yesterday.  Either that, or he was off. Or I have too much imagination.  
Which is entirely possible, err... probable, err...downright true.
Since it is radioactive and all sorts of precautions have to be taken, I go to this little room with a recliner in it, marked "RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL", (I mean the door of the room, not the recliner), and have a needle with a line put in inside my elbow, like a short IV, into which he put saline, the the injection, then more saline.  The injection was in a large heavy looking metal syringe that was probably lead lined for everybody's protection but mine.  Then he left me in a semi-darkened room for an hour with instructions to do nothing, no reading, no cell phones, no texting.  Lucky for me I forgot my cell at home.
So, I thought, (too much imagining here), I told myself stories, I wondered what time it was, I counted seconds, and then a nurse came in to ask how I was doing, and "it won't be long now," so I counted some more.  I was going to count 10 minutes but I got sidetracked and pretty soon she came back in and took me to the scanning room to put me in the usual scan position: feet up to the end of the table, a pillow for my head, one under my knees, straps to hold up my arms and a nice warm blanket.
I was hoping I'd have a nap during one of these times, but it didn't work out.  I spent the 20 minutes going in and out of the big doughnut looking scanner thingys wondering how they worked.
Then I left to find my ride waiting and had a nice lunch out!
Thank you very much!
I was starving.  I spent the 24 hours before the scan eating a high protein/low carb diet, and the morning, eating nothing.
And I came home and tried to have a nap while Lynette was having one, which I eventually did and lucky she woke up at 6 or we would have missed our evening activities.

And, it's true, I am starting chemo on Monday.  I called the chemo Dr. last week for something, reassurance probably, and the nurse says, "well, we're seeing you on Monday anyway".  Oh, really??  Well, I hope they were going to call me.  So, the first day, Monday, I will to go Platte Valley Medical Group for a check up, then the long day of chemo with Cisplatin, which is the really scary one, and VP-16 which is the one which will cause me to lose my hair, I think, I can't imagine it, until it happens.  They are doing the chemo there under the watchful eye of the doctor in case of any reactions.  Then I trot over to the Cancer Center for the radiation.  The next two days, I will do the VP-16 at the Cancer Center followed by the radiation, and that will just take the morning.  Three weeks later, we repeat, but I don't know if I will have the long first day at the Cancer Center or Platte Valley.  All this time, though, I will be going to radiation, every day, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks.  I don't know what will happen, but I've been listening to other people and reading, but I won't really know, until it happens.
I was reading my cousin, Michelle's blog yesterday.  She blogged through her second time around with cancer and I wondered what she felt like in chemo.  The best case scenario, is a few days of doing nothing and that helped her more than trying to get anything done.  I find myself imagining all sort of horrors to have to deal with, that's what happens when you read the fine print, and the doctors have to tell you every known side effect even it it hasn't happened to anyone yet.
(Well, I suppose it's happened to somebody or they wouldn't know about it.)
Anyway, expect the worst and hope for the best, as they say.
Maybe it won't be as bad as you think, etc., etc.
Well it will be what it will be, and I'll deal with it.  I've found that realities don't scare me nearly as much as my imagination.

And for those of my followers who are Anne fans, I remembered this today:
From Rilla of Ingleside about Walter,
"Realities never scared him--only his imagination could do that."

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Our Dear Friends, It was wonderful to see you on Saturday... We check your blog often, and want to add our names to those who are "going with you" through each part of this journey! We DO hope the reality won't be as traumatic as the fear of it can be, but neither do we expect it to just be a walk in the park! SOOO...we, in the "blog waiting room", will be standing by your side... wherever each procedure takes you!
Our love and best wishes,
Don and Jeanie

Luanne said...

Thanks for the nice time today.. Did I tell you how good you
looked? I can't change what you
have to go through but it feels good to do something!

Dan & Cyndie said...

Sitting here thinking that if anyone can make "lemonade" out of a lemon situation like this it would be you, dear friend. So value your spirit & your willingness to share! Love you

The J's said...

Shall I be honest here? :P Pretty much I'd like to bury my head in the sand & pretend this isn't happening to you my friend!!
Ugg. Such a friend I am, eh?
Well, honestly I dislike the sounds of all that scientific cancer jargon, but that's not going to change anything. SO--even tho I'm not there much, I'm here, cheering you on, hugging you in my mind, sitting beside you in thought.
Today I'm trying to remember what we heard several years ago at Antioch about "experiences"...I'm sure it will come to mind but I'm glad to be assured that God is in control, and he is with you in every step of this journey.
Ramble..ramble...
Virtual hugs & love, my friend.

gkey said...

Dear Shelleykins,

My thoughts go your way so often, and especially now as you are gearing up for this part of the battle with your 'goliath'. I am glad you are able to research & learn as you go along. It would help to understand what you are dealing with & the procedures used.

This afternoon I am remembering what we heard at Elizabeth about David's battle there in that valley with Goliath. His victory encouraged others later who fought battles in that same valley. David went forth with confidence that the Lord would be with him. In lifes battles we too can look behind, beside, all around us & see the Lord/our Saviour fighting with us!

love,
Your friend
in
NE

Susan Marlene Kinney said...

You are very brave and I admire your get up and go spirit. I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with all these tests and pokes and moods. Hand in there. May God Bless and Keep you and shine His face upon you and give you strength for this battle.

Anonymous said...

Shelley,
You are very much in my thoughts and will be especially on Monday as you begin your treatments. Thanks for writing with such honesty. I admire your courage.

Sending love from Wisner, NE...

Anonymous said...

Thinking about your household today, conscious that your new normal is going to be replaced with a newer normal, starting tomorrow! Enjoy THIS day!! Your whole family and lifestyle will revolve around chemo and radiation for awhile, and I suspect it is as our wise elder sister says: a person can't say it will go fast or easy, but it WILL go!
Love you all,
Dodie

Darcie said...

Had to stop by here tonight and tell you that I am with you in thought tomorrow. So many experiences life hands us, but were so thankful to know who's hand we are in. We will be here for you when you return to blog land, and until then...thoughts and prayers your way.

Renee said...

My thoughts are in Kearney, beside you!! Holding you close to heart!!!!