The Multi-Million Dollar Machine

All these ghost, guest, designated authors and other such titles given to contributors on this blog, we have one more really ghosty-writer in the background that has yet to to mentioned.  

He is the one that is going to tell me what is happening while I am strapped here in the radiation room during radiation.

Jim of course, who is the one who plays a very important part in my whole treatment and recovery program and really doesn't get the recognition he deserves.  He is so interested in the how and why-fors of all this stuff works, and some of it I would rather not know.   But, that isn't the reason he is so great.  He's kept track of all my feeding and medicine and just plain ME for so long. He comes as often as he can to radiation, he has decided to be my first line support team, and I couldn't manage without him.  He has been just the greatest support ever.

When I walk into the radiation room I see this,   It isn't a very big room, but this machine fills it.  

Here is a better picture of the whole set-up which the radiation table on it's base with my mask on the floor, the blue form on the table is where I put my head and then I usually get a nice warm blankie, it's freezing in there. 

After the mask is snapped to the table, green lasers are used to line up the table under the machine.  The table I am on moved back and forth on the base and around the while circle underneath the machine. You can see the green light over the top of my nose in the photo below and another one would cross in a 90 degree angle, which isn't showing in the picture.  

On either side of my head here are flat plates that move to form a box sort of thing around my head that takes the CT scan every day, before that days treatment.  After the table is put into position under the machine, (you see my head closer to the screen here) and the entire body of the machine is rotated around my head. (looking at the first photo, it is all the light gray part of the machine.)

In the Control Room just outside the door the operator watches the CT scan, (far right lower computer) make the slight positioning adjustments of the rays, for that days treatment and then watches me during the radiation procedure.  I am in there by myself, but they are watching closely in case I need something.  

The radiation room has 5ft. thick concrete walls.

Mondays are always the worst days of radiation treatment for me.  After having a couple days off, it is rather depressing to go in and start another round.  And this Monday after having a whole week off, it was worse yet. I didn't feel like I was in control of the mucus in my throat, (I take the crazy suction machine with me, because it is a little cleaner than other methods of getting loads of mucus from the throat and mouth area), I had seen the doctor instead of the PA and he made me more nervous yet.   So, it took longer this time to calm my nerves to get on the table and breath normally.  I really hate to admit this.  On the outside chance than anyone I know will have to undergo mouth or neck cancer, I wanted to be able to breeze through it.  To let people know, that even if it is really hard and really no fun, it CAN be done.  But, perhaps for those people out there, it would be comforting to know, that they do have sedating and calming things for people who really are claustrophobic. I had a mini-breakdown, and the radiation people were so kind to help me feel comfortable and ready. 

I would like to know how others respond in this situation.  We saw a man yesterday and as he was leaving yesterday his wife said, "she brought her machine." Something was also mentioned which indicated he was nearly done, and they were gone and it was my turn, So, as I was getting myself ready and feeling badly to be giving them so much trouble and said something to that effect, and she mentioned it happens near the end, almost like it was that man who had trouble, too.  Who knows.  I looked for him this morning, and he had his suction machine along and no one else, so perhaps he was feeling better, too.  Jim talked to him a bit, he can talk now, but I can't very well.  It just hurts too much after awhile. So, the PA today talked about other things like sedation and relaxants, which are fine for people who need them.  She just didn't think that I really qualify, since I've done so well so far.  There are other tricks to try, so after I'd suctioned well, I had them turn up the music so I could listen, asked them how many minutes I had for treatment, and counted songs, while I waited. I helped the time go a lot faster and I was done.  I'm never quite as anxious the other days of the week. and I should only have one more "first day of the week left", after labor day.  

Today was the first days for the Boost, we are starting to count down to the end of the radiation days. I'm not sure yet when the end will be, but it is getting closer.